While raising a child is rarely easy, with divorced parents it can seem like a constant uphill battle. This is especially true when your ex is unwilling to compromise on child-rearing decisions, which leads to hurt, resentment, and frustration all around. To help you on your journey, Medium offers the following co-parenting tips.
Some people respond to constant conflict by shutting down. While this definitely prevents arguments, it also leaves you unable to make parenting decisions as a cohesive unit. If your ex is bad about communicating, don’t follow suit. Continue reaching out and try to remain civil and respectful when discussing your kids. It’s best for the child when both parents play and equal role in the decision-making process.
In the same token, a parent who makes important decisions without the input of the other is also hard to deal with. Custody orders are put in place to ensure both parents are actively participating in raising their child, and when one assumes all responsibility something must be done. Explain to your ex that you must make decisions together, both for your benefit as well as your child. If he or she refuses to cooperate, you might want to speak with your attorney about getting the custody order modified.
What your ex says about you in front of your child can also be problematic. Remember, kids will take harsh words spoken about their parents to heart, and this can damage their relationship to both of you. While it can be difficult when resentment exists, try to have a frank discussion with your ex about the importance of civility. Don’t engage in judgment but do highlight the potential damage that could occur when you speak ill of one another. It’s ok to feel hurt about your divorce, but kids should never be subject to those feelings or put in the middle in any way.